No-Nap Land

For any parent ever, the results of no nap is not cool sucks. Adam napped for 5 minutes in my arms yesterday around his usual lunchtime/noon nap time. The reason he didn't nap? We were not at home. We were at my aunt and uncle's house, 2.5 miles away from home. He nursed and passed out. Yes, I am still nursing my nearly 1.5-year-old. Maybe I'll blog about that next time. It depends on if I wanna face the freak show our society has turned a natural source of providing nutrients to our babies and toddlers.

*calm down, Kathryn!*
*sigh*

Anyway, you see what happens? Mama gets a little crazy in the 24 hours that follow a toddler who should be napping who, instead, bolts upright in the unfamiliar, noisy play-yard and smiles around repeating, "Hi! Hi!" No nap for Adam meant that I was playing with him, dealing with him, helping him, shaking him off my legs, and tolerating him for about 12 hours yesterday. Be the end of the day, when I sat on the couch immediately after he had supper and climbed on me wanting my chips and apple salsa, I had enough. I bit my tongue and forced myself to tickle him to the point of hysterical laughter.

I threw that kid in the tub and got his bedtime routine going like there was a fire under my butt. He gave me a break and played good in the tub for about 10 minutes. He stood up and signed "all done", and while I dried him off and snuggled him up, I told him that I love him. My patience was waning for about an hour at that point. I told myself, "He doesn't get why I'm frustrated, so get over it and enjoy this sweet boy." And I did. I closed my eyes, stuffed my nose in his hair, and took a whiff of my baby. It's something I have always done when I'm frustrated or upset with him. He went to bed and was sleeping at 7:30. He didn't sleep through the night, but he slept okay. He's healthy and happy, thanks to God's gracious love.

For parents out there with more than one child, I already don't know how you do it. I'll have my turn someday, but when naps don't happen at the same time, I hope you at least make those kiddos rest or sit quietly so you get a break. My mom called it "Silence for Sanity". How in the world did my parents (especially Mom) not destroy us (I'm one of S.E.V.E.N.)? I don't know. I'll never know unless I have 7 kids, so I guess it will remain a mystery. ;o)

God's blessings to moms and dads when your children nap (or don't) that you might find a way to recharge as the madness ensues around you. And God bless your kids that they might give their deserving parents a much-needed chance to return to zero and breath easy. *sigh* :o)

a weak effort to wrangle my thoughts into writing

I intended for this blog to be a journal of sorts, so here's one of my random updates and sleepy rambles. Thanks for reading. =)

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I stay at home with my tot. Adam is 15 months old and is such a boy in the ways we expect boys to be: if it has wheels and a motor he's interested. His excitement and joy for simple wonders are unbounded. It's one of those times I realize how in love I am with him. We've been home for about 2 weeks (in the sense that we haven't been gone for a night and we've had a pretty steady routine going on) and it's been great. Adam's sleep habits turned from unacceptable and needy, up every 2 hours (yes, at 14 months old) to self-soothing and sleeping through the night (for stretches of 8-12 hours). Nice!

Yesterday I brought Adam to River Falls to have a sleepover at Chrissy & Mike's apartment. We enjoyed our stay and it made me think back to last year at this time when we would have 2-3 nights at Chrissy's apartment every other week. So many things have changed. Last summer, Chrissy had a roommate other than Mike who wasn't there when we visited. Adam wasn't mobile so he slept right on Chrissy's bed or on the recliner chair. Tim didn't care that Adam and I were gone for so long; actually, Tim liked it. Lots of other things have changed, too.

Chrissy and I have been through a lot in the last year. A lot! Most of all, I realized last night how much I miss Chrissy. It was great hanging out and being able to spend time with Mike and Chrissy. When I got home today I was chatting with my cousin Hailee about wedding plans. When I hung up the phone Tim asked if Mike and Chrissy were getting married. Nope, but we agreed that we wouldn't be surprised if they got engaged soon. =)

It was a nice time, and I'm looking forward to another sleepover with them in early August. A campus visit will be on the agenda because I saw loads of messes and projects of the construction sort in progress. I love the city of River Falls and there are lots of people in my prayers that I don't even know the names of who are from there. It was a couple of days that made me realize I need to keep my family close and my spirit in tune with God. I'm counting my blessings tonight!

get on the sleep train

All aboard! Once you hop on, there's no stopping the Sleep Train! Sleep training? For who? Adam, his mama, or his dada? Last week, bedtime was a tense event around here. Adam's typical bedtime routine was in place for a few months. I firmly believe that children of all ages need routine, so when Adam was upset it was his cue to me that it was not working for him anymore. The times are approximate, we're flexible around Adam's needs.

5:00: supper when Adam acts hungry (supper usually consists of protein, grains, and veggies)

5:30: wrangle the tot in an effort to get him in the bath, followed by a game of chase-the-naked-baby-who's-running-around-the-house-playing-his-favorite-game-of-catch-the-tot-before-he-pees-where-you-don't-know-it-even-happened

6:00 after more chasing, wrangling, wrestling, laughing, lotioning, singing, diapering, tickling, more chasing, and dressing him, Adam plays for a while to burn the fumes off. We read 2 or 3 books (or more if he's in the mood to sit with us).

7:00 I ask Adam if he wants to nurse and he runs to me panting, staring at my chest and smiling, and wriggles his way into my lap. Or he runs from me because he knows what's gonna happen after he nurses. This is when I can relax, knowing he's slowing down. Sometimes he falls asleep right after or during nursing, usually not.

7:30 at the latest: Time for bed. We turn on music and the fan/noise machine. We offer Adam a pacifier if he's chewing on his fingers. Sometimes he accepts, other times he pushes it away or grabs it and chucks it across the room with zeal (yeah, that's the adjective: zeal...). We used to hold Adam while we rocked in the recliner or bounced on the exercise ball until he fell asleep. He's getting big so this had to change soon. Now after we rock for a few minutes and say our bedtime prayer, we lay him in his crib. IF he cries/whines, it lasts about a minute before he is humming himself to sleep.

Last week, 7:30 turned into the worst hour (or more) of the day. I do not want bedtime to be a struggle. I love going to bed and relaxing. I'd like to break Adam of the idea that his crib is a place to scream and sob, rather it's a place to relax and be calm and feel well. What we did has worked in the past, but the key was to attempt it only when I know he is healthy and all of his needs are met, especially when I know I can give him a routine at home for several days in a row. Tim and I had to be mentally prepped for it, and on the same page about what we want for Adam

Sunday night, I put Adam in his crib with his blankey and a smooch. With music and fan on, I looked at the clock and decided that in 20 minutes I would go soothe him. It didn't happen, though, because he was sleeping when the timer read 19:34. Adam slept like a partied-out rock star, and woke up out of habit (so I nursed him) at about 2 and 6. He slept until 8:30. The following day he cried out his nap times for 4 minutes each time, and the second night of crying it out (CIO) he cried about 8 minutes. The best part was that he slept for 10 hours straight that night, in his crib. That means I slept for 8 hours straight. YAHOO!!!

What do I think of the CIO method? It works. It sucks for 2 or 3 nights if you are alone, but with support it is bearable. And it is worth it for everyone in the house. Tim is not a fan of making Adam CIO, especially after an intense bonding weekend where the boys didn't even leave the house except to walk the dog. Tim thinks it is a cruel and senseless form of punishing a baby into passing out after sobbing to the breaking point of exhaustion. Tim and I talked it over and agreed that we needed to try it for a week to see how Adam responded. We follow Adam's lead after we give him direction.

I wanted needed a break after more than a year of nursing Adam to sleep. I want this to be a God-driven family-centered household with a baby-led schedule/routine, where the needs of my child are met first. I felt like it was worth trying to see how he would respond, and if he responded appropriately and learned that bedtime means business, he was ready and I wasn't pushing him.

With Adam being sick on and off for the last 10 weeks with 4 ear infections (one being a double ear infection, a double-whammy that is), hand-foot-mouth disease (HFMD), and teething, my concern for making sure Adam breastfeeds when he wants it has been more important that my own sleep schedule. Yes, readers, my 14.5-month-old is still a breastfed baby. Well, toddler... That's a topic for another day. I'm trying to stay focused here. :) Adam's sleep habits have also been interrupted by a trip we made 2 weekends ago out to Tim's parents' house near Wausau and family gatherings that meant lots of road time and late nights. With illness after illness, inconsistent surroundings, and no set bedtime, we all suffered.

The stress, the heart-wrenching sobs of the baby, the emotional roller-coaster of desperation for sleep and sadness that your baby needs you... ugh!! Exhausted myself, I had to decide for myself (because Tim didn't want to do this "to" him): it was time for Adam to cry it out. He is healthy, old enough, and tired. It was worth it to have 2 difficult nights for us to know that Adam now whines (not even crying) for about 30 seconds before he is sleeping. Bedtime is no longer a fight, and Adam sleeps through the night for 5-10 hour stretches. That alone tells me 2 big things: he needs to sleep through the night, and he does not need to nurse in the middle of the night.

I have to say, I thought the CIO method was mean and unloving. Adam understands right from wrong, so he also understands that when he sees me walk into his room when he cries, he is about to get his way. As soon as I picked him up the crying stopped - no exaggeration. Talk about frustrating! Just because it worked with Adam and us does not mean it will work for everyone. All parents need to be on board because if someone does it differently the kiddo will be confused and misery will ensue. I can't imagine going through it without Tim's support. We weren't sitting on the couch holding hands through it. In fact, Tim was so upset he had to leave the house and I worked while I kept an eye on the clock.

I pray for support for single parents and for kids who don't know what a routine is. I pray for sleep for kids who need it and parents who need a break. What are your thoughts on sleep-training?

up & at 'em

I was inspired by the sermon at church yesterday. It was about defeating the devil on a daily basis, and the hope we have in knowing Jesus nailed our sin to the cross. Satan has us like puppets on strings. When we are not looking we get strung up and we do his bidding. When we are careful we snip the strings holding us back. Then we get distracted and he ties us up again. We are bound by the invisible strings of sin.

We get tired of cutting Satan's ties, but we aren't doing it alone. We get frustrated by his persistence, but our hope wins in the end. We get off course because Satan is working at us, chomping at the bit for a chance to hurt us, but we have God backing us. For those of us who have accepted God's help through Jesus as our personal Savior, then what could stand against us and have a chance? The battle has already been won! We just need to persevere through our days and focus.

I wake up every day knowing I have emotional struggles, and that is a bugger of a first thought to greet the day with. It is never gone, but I must face my personal demons several times every day including before I open my eyes. I have never been a morning person (just ask my husband and family). I like to say that Tim is jealous of my relationship with my bed. =) More than ever I'm trying to defeat my unhappiness FIRST THING IN THE MORNING, as if I have the energy.

I just read an article that offers me hope and a challenge. I'm putting it in writing here because it will hold me accountable. With the idea in mind that habits take 2 weeks of daily discipline to form I am committing to do this daily for 14 days. Here goes something!