exciting news and a failed date

First of all, my exciting news is that Tim, Adam, and I will be welcoming a baby to our family in July. Yay!

I'm doing fine - exhausted all the time and nauseous quite a bit, so normal. Don't make me think about it. The good news is that I'm losing weight this holiday season. ;-)

2 nights ago I was surprised to learn from Tim that he arranged for Mom to watch Adam tonight so we could enjoy a date. Nice!

Maybe I should have said no to eating, though.

Morning sickness is not cool. I couldn't use my nose at the restaurant. I couldn't make eye contact with the menu or the salad bar. I couldn't stomach even saying what I wanted out loud, so Tim had to order for me. I told Tim to stop talking about his food on more than one occasion. And on the way home I snuggled with a garbage can on my lap.

I thanked my husband for the date, then apologized for it. Then I said maybe another date that doesn't involve food? We can eat together in a couple months.

This means my 9-week-old baby is 1 inch long from head to rump, has fingers and toes, can move around on its own, and is doing a good job of keeping Mommy's hormones surging enough to make me sick. I know I am blessed! :-)

Winding Down 2012

Christmas is a week from today. A year ago, we were getting ready to take Adam in for hypospadias repair surgery. Adam turned a year old 8 months ago (already!), and 4 months ago my marriage came to a screeching halt. This is why I haven't been posting my blogs for quite some time (I've been saving my journals but not sharing them simply because they're personal).

I am sitting here looking at photos for our "Christmas" card/photo collage and wondering where the last year went. I know it will only get crazier as we add more exciting chaos to our lives and these feelings will only duplicate themselves next year and in the years to follow. I also know that as our family is growing stronger all the time, God's guiding hand will lead Tim and me to a marriage that's better than I can imagine.

In September, Tim and I went through a marital crisis that changed our lives forever. We have been shown tremendous grace and forgiveness by God, and through that we are able to love each other the way God intends us to. We still have a lot of learning to do, and I am excited for the next steps as I work to become a better person based on God's Word. I can't recommend Cornerstone Counseling enough for the incredible truths they've impressed upon our family.

Our marriage stumbled and fell and although we were 2 broken people, we picked up the pieces and we're managing to put them together in a different way to  build a family. We owe all of our healing to Christ. Tim and I have become devoted to God, our marriage, and our family in our Christian lives, instead of just being absent members of the church down the road and vacant members of the family in this house.

As I think about 2012 coming to a close, I look back and think about how far we have all come in this last year: Adam went from sitting, swaddled, and babbling to running, talkative, and opinionated; Tim and I went from frayed and miserable to healing and Christian. It's God's grace that brought us here, and for that I owe Him my life. God has blessed us through our pain and He brought us to a place of joy and peace. We've heeded this Proverb tremendously: "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him, and he will make your paths straight."

As I think about 2013, I am praying for the fruits of the Spirit to continue to work in myself and Tim. We're in for our best year yet!