Thursday, May 17, 2012


my thoughts are all over the place. i have quotes to do so this is gonna be quick, although i don't know what direction i want this thought to go. i'm scattered because i'm tired. i'm tired because Adam was sick for the last day and a half. he was sick and now he's fine and sleeping. it was tough getting him down tonight. Tim was outside selling his mazda while i was inside trying to sleep-train Adam. again. and it makes my head hurt because of his whining and my aching desire to pick him up that i fight and fight. i lost that battle tonight and i'm not sorry. my baby is still a baby. and i'm tired. wait, i said that already...

time to get to work so i can get to bed. tomorrow is the day i go through my wedding pics and order my free 8x8 photo book from (thank you Ellen!) and praise God it's Friday. off i go.

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

roll with the changes

I am making some changes and liking the direction I'm heading. When you think about changes and the feeling is unsettled and uncertain, it's usually not a good sign. I got that feeling when I took a job at a school, and on my first day (after I met some coworkers) went into the teacher's lounge and caught the end of a conversation between 2 married teachers (not to each other) about a lap dance at the last company Christmas party. It was an absolute shit-slide down a slick slope from there. I was literally skipping to my car on my last day after I quit, after my supervisor ignored my thanks for his time and my boss waved me off when I said I came by his office to say good-bye.

The changes I'm about to make are natural and they feel right. I'm a praying woman and I believe that God's plan is simple (though not always easy). I'm quitting daycare for G and picking up more hours with the insurance company I do quotes for. I will line up someone to watch Adam 2 days a week from now until who-knows-when so I can focus on my work. My boss wants me to stay in his district and he's adding me as a staff member because he's happy with the work I've done so far. Yay!!

This is what I went to college for. ;-)

Friday, May 4, 2012

call me procrastinate kate

I just ate 3/4 of a Jack's pepperoni pizza by myself. I'm satisfied, somewhat ashamed that I don't remember chewing the last 3 slices, and I think I'm done with pizza for a very long time. I ate supper at 5 with Adam. I got him down and he hasn't made a peep (which after the last 24 hours of sore throat sobs is a great relief). It's almost midnight and Tim's out of the state. It's been a looooong day. Supper number two was a high-five to my college days.

I am caught in my struggle with sanity like a handkerchief on a tug rope. I feel like I'm being pulled in a few directions constantly, and yet I don't understand what those directions are because my life is simple. I am a SAHM of a 1yo son; my husband works full-time and comes home to work part-time; my 1yo son hasn't been in the best health, but I certainly know how blessed I am so you won't find me complaining; my desire to be at church frustrates me because I'm not as involved as I'd like to be; I feel bad for my dog who I've been neglecting for over a year because my priorities made a drastic shift; I have an online job (that I should be doing right now, actually); I make a pathetic income and spend a tragic budget.

The list goes on, but that's because I am holding the shovel that's digging the hole around me. I need to set down the shovel and focus. I am overwhelmed by the amount of little stuff around the house that needs to be dealt with before Adam turns 20. Pathetic, I know.

Like a wise friend of mine has inspired me to do, it's time to quit thinking about these things (pinning) and start doing them. Here's the thing... I'll start tomorrow. The Bucky Run is tomorrow, and so is the first Saturday of May (GARAGE SALES!!!!!!!!!!!). Sooooo... I'll make a list of things I want to do tomorrow and I'll start them the day after tomorrow. And the day after tomorrow is church, and visiting with my parents. So maybe I'll budget time for one thing the day after tomorrow, but won't get a really good start until 2 days after tomorrow.

I'll procrastinate tomorrow.

You know the piles and stacks and mountains of papers that are waiting for me in the basement, and in my bedroom, and in my kitchen, and on my table? And the laundry? And the accumulating heap of crap that I plan to sell at a garage sale this summer? And the dishes? And vacuuming? What about time for Sophie? This makes me want to go to bed.

I'll make my list tomorrow. Oh wait, no I won't: tomorrow is 12 minutes away and I haven't started work yet. I'll do it later.